A school trip to the museaum took the children thru the statue section. One child kind of hung back and contemplated the 4 statues in front of him. The teacher approached him and asked, "Timmy, whats wrong?"
"Well, Mr. Smith, I am puzzled about these for statues," stated Timmy.
"Thats easy Timmy, the first one is the 'Great Smeller', see how he is pinching his nose? The second statue is the 'Great Pointer', the third is the 'Great Guesser', and the fourth one is the 'Great Thinker." announced the teacher proudly.
Timmy let out a sigh of relief and said, "I thought it was 'Who let a fart?', 'He did!', 'Who did?', 'I did.'"
This duck walks in to a bar, then hops on the bar and looks at the bartender and asks "Got any fish?"
"No." replied the bartender.
The duck hops down and waddles out.
The very next day, the duck waddles in, hops on the bar, and asks "Got any fish?"
"Um... No"
The duck leaves.
This goes on for several days, and it starts to wear on the bartender, and one morning the duck waddles in, hops on the counter and asks "Got any fish?" The bartender snaps and states with anger "Look duck, you have been coming in here for days asking me for fish and every time I state NO. If you come in here again, I am going to nail your feet to the bar and let people pull your feathers out one at a time!"
The duck was shocked and left in a quick hurry.
Three days later the duck poked his head around the corner and peered inside, slowly waddled his way to the bar, jumped up on the bar and looked the bartender square in the eye, and asked... "Got any nails?" "No!" "So, got any fish?"
Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Wide Awake, Bored as Hell
So, here it is, boiled down to two basic concepts. Figure out a way to go home early, probably at the cost of a write-up(6 months probation), knowing that I am going to have to come back and do it all over again the next day, or bite my tongue and let these self-serving wastes of fresh air spew their hatred for the company that provides them a service that they requested and frankly dont need and therefore is considered a luxury, give in to their demands of credit, satisfaction and give them a general sense of well-being and the knowledge that they can successfully bully the luxury company in to giving them what they want.
Now, I dont need my bank, I am perfectly capable of storing my money at home in a safe, and using cash as necessary, but I dont call them up getting pissy with them demanding tons of personal satisfaction when a check bounces, or their drive-up is closed, or a teller cant help me resolve an issue. Then again, I am not one of these types of people that grew up being the bully at school, knocking down the smaller kids and taking their lunch money either.
So, from now on, the next time I hear any of the following phrases from a customer I am going to help them in the corosponding manner.
"I think I will call someone else if I cant get better service" - "Okay Mrs. Jones, let me transfer you to the correct department so that we may facilitate that request."
"I think I deserve credit for 2 months for my services being down!" - "Okay Mr. Smith, I can certainly help you feel that you are getting the satisfaction you deserve, but your account shows that you are 45 days past due, would you like to make a payment to bring your account to current so that I may apply that credit?"
"You people should get out here right now and fix this, I run a business from my home and I am losing thousands of dollars every day. I need my internet right now!!!" - "I am sorry Mrs. Choi, I am unable to facilitate that request, I can schedule a technician to come out, but I have to let you know that the turn around time is 24-72 hours." (then I schedule it for the longest period possible)
"You people just have a problem serving black people is that it?" - "Ma'am, I am black."
So, there you have it. From now on that is all I am going to be doing. As much as I can for as little stress as I can. No more are these people going to harass me and bully me and cuss at me.
And Mr. Customer, you dont like it, you can kiss my pale, cratered, white ass.
Now, I dont need my bank, I am perfectly capable of storing my money at home in a safe, and using cash as necessary, but I dont call them up getting pissy with them demanding tons of personal satisfaction when a check bounces, or their drive-up is closed, or a teller cant help me resolve an issue. Then again, I am not one of these types of people that grew up being the bully at school, knocking down the smaller kids and taking their lunch money either.
So, from now on, the next time I hear any of the following phrases from a customer I am going to help them in the corosponding manner.
"I think I will call someone else if I cant get better service" - "Okay Mrs. Jones, let me transfer you to the correct department so that we may facilitate that request."
"I think I deserve credit for 2 months for my services being down!" - "Okay Mr. Smith, I can certainly help you feel that you are getting the satisfaction you deserve, but your account shows that you are 45 days past due, would you like to make a payment to bring your account to current so that I may apply that credit?"
"You people should get out here right now and fix this, I run a business from my home and I am losing thousands of dollars every day. I need my internet right now!!!" - "I am sorry Mrs. Choi, I am unable to facilitate that request, I can schedule a technician to come out, but I have to let you know that the turn around time is 24-72 hours." (then I schedule it for the longest period possible)
"You people just have a problem serving black people is that it?" - "Ma'am, I am black."
So, there you have it. From now on that is all I am going to be doing. As much as I can for as little stress as I can. No more are these people going to harass me and bully me and cuss at me.
And Mr. Customer, you dont like it, you can kiss my pale, cratered, white ass.
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