People that think about things they shouldn't think about.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Post Xmas excitement and blues.

Greetings everyone for the latest installment of Rusty's amazing, fantastical, eye-opening, jaw dropping goodness from the incredible insight of my mind. In today's installment I would like to point out the feature to your right, the image gallery. As time progresses and I find things that I would like to share with you visually, I will be posting those images in that rotating gallery. The first image I would like to bring to your attention is my Xmas present to me. A WWII Military Rifle, the M1 Carbine. This handy little weapon served in the military from 1944, until early parts of Vietnam. Now the weapon I currently own, I do not know what action it saw, and I am not going to speculate, but I am searching for its records. I can tell you that it shoots very accurately out to 100 yards, and that I am, IMHO, a pretty good shot. Even Rachel likes it! still have to see about getting Rachel something very nice for her Xmas present. I feel pretty guilty about not getting her anything :( I hope she can forgive me that hers might be a bit late.

So that was pretty exciting for me.

Now for the blues...

What is love? What is the difference between being 'in love' and 'loving' someone? What does love mean to you? If I were to ask you the following question, and mind you, you do not have to answer this except to yourself, 'When it comes to your relationship with your (boyfriend,husband,girlfriend,wife), what does it mean to you to love them?'

I guess I am still trying to learn what it means to love someone, specifically someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Does it mean changing who you are to fit their mold? Or does it mean changing you habits, ideals, morals, to become better than you have been?

I know that deep down in my heart I love Rachel because she makes me feel that together we are greater than we are individually. But we have had some very scary moments in our last 15 months, still I have worked on my behavior not only for her, but for me. I don't want to stress myself into a heart attack... In fact I have changed my behavior when it comes to several things, the most serious offender was my road rage. I have realized that I cannot change the way other people drive, just the way I drive. I am continually learning how to further better myself to the point where I don't even get bothered when someone else cuts me off. I am not getting as upset that I seem to be the only one doing the majority of the household maintenance in the apartment that I share with my beloved Rachel and roommate Crispy, but sadly that came with a price... I recognized that if I don't do it, it seems that no one else does it until I let someone know that its bothering me. So, originally I thought that I shouldn't be the only one with a sense of responsibility and can do these chores without being asked, but like other drivers, I cannot rely on this though. So I have resigned myself to knowing that if it needs to be done, just do it and be done with it.

I am really trying hard to be a better person for Rachel, but I am starting to feel like the changes I have made aren't enough, or will not be enough. She loves me because I give her 'warm fuzzy' feelings, but whats going to happen when I cant keep her warm anymore? I love her, and I desire to marry her... but does she feel the same way anymore? Did she ever feel that way at all?

Monday, December 22, 2008

Three more days...

Commercial Terrorism....

While I firmly believe in the holiday spirit, christmas, or Yule to those of us of pagan beliefs, I am starting to get very bothered by the tactical attacks by those that claim they are good Christians compounded by the commercial strikes against our pocketbooks for things that no one needs.

The other day I saw a commercial on TV for a childs toy (ages 18+ months and older), and in my quest to satisfy my curiosity, I checked the MSRP on this thing, and it was in excess of $300. I asked myself this very important question... When does it become 'necessary' that an eating and pooping machine need to have $300 spent on it when in 3 hours it wont remember that thing exists when a $3 rattle captures its attention?

Technological Terrorism....

I am not going to lie, I work for an isp as a tech support rep, and as a rep for said company, it is my duty to fix peoples computer connection. Now normally this isnt an issue, but when I get a call from some customer in BFE with a 'new' pc they bought, and that new pc turns out to be a win98se from some pawn shop. I want to reach thru the phone and slap them around. But I cant, and I have to do some limited support, and they get upset that they cannot connect, and then I get to tell them the wonderful news. We do not support win98 and the $1000 they spent on their pc could have been spent buying an edumakashun. It is usually then that they threaten to contact everyone from the ACLU to FBI and Interpol... Frankly I dont give a shit. Just dont yell at me for your ignorance.

Biological Terrorism....

You know... fruitcake just wont go away. Why does it exists, and I read somewhere that someone attempted to eat a 200 year old fruitcake... WTF?!??

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Steps to deal with...

This is my self-help guide to you on how to deal with several of lifes major issues.

1. TSFTOG. Too smart for their own good. These people are generally indicated by the confident useage of technical terms, jargon and a general knowledge of systems. However this has a dark side. In your efforts to communicate with said individual, they generally respond with "Huh?!" "What?"

Solution: Reset equipment and get off the call as fast as possible. If you stay on the call any longer than absolutely necessary (formula: (((time/2)*stupid factor)*0)=Time to hang up! {stupid factor is equal to the number of technical words used in the opening description of the problem} Warning. DO NOT stay on this call any longer than it takes to solve the issue, probable issues that arise from such calls are, high blood pressure, frequent need to scream, and general feeling of stupidity.

2. Believes everything is someone elses fault. These people you just cannot reason with. They are stubborn and refuse to do anything you ask of them because they have done it all 10 billion times before and regardless of what you ask them to do, they think that its all your fault and want credit for it.

Solution: If they are calling from a VOIP, reset the thing and go on to the next call. Obviously its someone elses problem to them, so make it someone elses problem for you.

3. Smart enough to be dangerous. These individuals should be handled with care. They are prone to explosive outbursts including swearing, demanding supervisor, and combinations of both. Most calls are just fine until you request something of them, then they just go off.

Solution: Treat the explosion with sugar, remain calm and do not give in to their demands. The issue is under all probablilites something as simple as resetting their router. So, bear the brunt of this attack and then ask if they still want to speak to a supervisor.

4. Techies. We all know who they are, a specialized individual who knows alot about one thing and absolutely nothing about anything else. These individuals will speak to you in terms you understand, but they do not know what you are talking about. They, generally, are pretty easy to get along with and are willing to learn what you want to teach them, however, DO NOT spend more time than necessary on the phone with them and do not divulge any information that they may latch on to and use against the next tech they talk to.

Solution: use the Walter principle (Jeff Dunham) "Get yur shit and get out!" These guys will waste your time like no other.

I hope these tips help you.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Superman Project, Birthdays, and xxx-mas.

Here in contains the following, sensitive viewers may wish to look away or go to this website, I like you!



Now on to the goodies. I started a new chainmail project for a xmas gift to my supervisor, Its a chainmail logo of Supermans "S". (pictures will follow)

Disclaimer for Chainmail Superhero Logo by Rusty.
(funded a little by Josh and mostly by Rusty)

I hope you enjoy your new chainmail superhero logo from Rusty.


This chainmail product does NOT protect against bullets, baseball bats, kryptonite, angry wives, superhero fan boy's, weather related injuries such as lightning strikes, high winds, rain, or other supernatural or superhero created weather. It also does not covered for injury from natural accidents such as damage or death due to falling from tall buildings, or not being able to out running a train.


This product is not to be worn as a cape, cap, face mask, glove, shoe, or any other clothing product not covered, or covering skin. Besides, everyone knows what happens to superheros that wear capes, right? It will not help you fly, unless you count falling from tall buildings, and please see the provision in the previous paragraph on accidental deaths due to falling from tall buildings.


Recipient assumes any and all responsibility for medical expenses incurred while wearing this logo and should such a time arise that this logo pulls hair, grabs skin, or garners you any attention that you think is unjust or unwarrented, please feel free to smack the nearest offender or non-offender and then prance around shouting "I'm invincible!"


This product is 100% lifetime guaranteed to probably be defective in some way or another, and does not at all have any kind of guarantee for defects in craftsmanship, labour rights in Australia, or whether or not a lemming will survive a fall from a 100 story cliff. Although if a lemming was wearing this chainmail logo, it might survive. Maybe...



Birthdays!!!

Tomorrow is Rachel's birthday! She'll be 22, and I still am as much in love with her now as I was 1 year ago!!!

xxx-mas...

No this isnt about pr0n... get your mind out of the gutter... this is about the act of getting and recieving gifts that you just dont want, or shouldnt have gotten.

Some things I wish I had never gotten for xmas...
1. Underwear from my grandmother.... just... ew.
2. soft squishy fake boob from a friend as a prank.
3. various other sundry items that I cannot use.

let me know what you wish you didnt get.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The times? They are a changin'!

Tell you what people, things are going to get worse before they get better. And with that said, I have to also tell you that I for one almost don't care anymore. Think of it this way. In World politics, there are great people, then there are retarded people with great ideas, then there are just retarded people. I deal with these kinds of people everyday and here is a result. "Your company sucks." Now with a dummycratic government, we are going to have more rules reguarding our lives than we ever did. You think gas prices were bad under the Bush administration? Just wait. I predict say... $5/gal by April... And don't bother scheduling that vacation, you wont be able to afford to even drive to the local themepark and spend half a day there...

Recently I put just over $200 on a WWII rifle, a piece of history. This is something I felt I not only needed as a WWII history buff, but for my survival in the coming years. Yet, it, along with many other Curio's and Relics, may be destined to be banned by the government due to its capability. Now Democrats are all about gun control. "Take away the guns, and you will have a safer place to live." I call BULLS**T! I use an example here, and my numbers may be off, but bear with me because the point is still true. The State of Texas decided in the late 90's to allow gun owners to purchase "Carry and Conceal" permits for their handguns. Within weeks of that making the news, car jackings in the city of Houston dropped by 25%. Muggings fell at or near the same rate. You tell me that guns are bad? Gun control cannot be done because badguys will still find ways to get the guns, its called a "Black Market." So, ladies and gents, I would highly recommend if you do not own a gun, invest in one, protect your rights, your family, and our future. And now my favorite quote about gun control..

"Guns dont kill people, people kill people."

And another favorite quote,

"Gun control means hitting what you aim for."

Now I introduce to you the first ever graph that has made me laugh:

Green Elf needs more food!!!

Okay.. I am done for now.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Cowboy Rules (Amended)

The following rules for the Great States of Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Idaho, Oregon (that's pronounced Oreegun) and the rest of the Wild West are as follows, without exception:


  1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

  2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

  3. Let's get something straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus when you follow me, your in front of me, or I pass you. Drive it or get the hell out of the way.

  4. They are live stock. That's why they smell like live stock. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-80 & I-90 go east and west, I-5, I-15, I-25 and I-35 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

  5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

  6. Every person in the "Wild West" waves and/or smiles. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

  7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outa your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

  8. Since we are on the subject of cell phones, do you think that cell phone will work better when I shove it up your ass when you're drivin and talkin at the same time?

  9. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

  10. The'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
  11. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

  12. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

  13. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

  14. If you bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

  15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch, AND dont cost no $400 a seat.

  16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

  17. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!



A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Story of Aog da Wize.

The Story of Aog da Wise

As told in third person by Aog.

Chapter 1 - Da Begining.

"Da story of Aog da Wize begins in a small billage in a shady forest. Aog's early life was one of pain and misery. Aog, you see, was a small ogre and because he was a small ogre, only 1 hand shorter than other ogres, and quite a bit not as smart as them, Aog was picked on alot. Aog tried bery hard to fit in with da beatum ups, a gang of mean ogres, only to get beat up. Aog started hanging around da shaman, and one day Shaman tell Aog to go get water. Aog was bery excited to fetch water and ran down to da riber, when Aog get to da riber, he see a strange light in da woods. Aog inbestigated the strange light and found a tree dat was glowing and warm. Aog think to himself, "dis must be important," and he bring a piece of da burning tree back to billage. Aog happily forgot all about getting da water as he ran back to da billage. Once Aog got back to da billage, Aog ran to his house first and rushed in to show his mom what he got. As he entered da house, some of the embers from the burning stick caught da roof on fire, Aog not know what going on and ran out of da house to da shaman's house and when he entered, he caught da roof of da shaman's house on fire too. Pretty soon roofs every where were on fire and all da other ogres were running around crazy not knowing what to do. Aog den remembered to get da water from da riber and dropped da stick on da ground, which happened to be run off from da place where everyone goes poo and flames start running up da trail and cause a great confleg.. conflagur... great splosion which practically lebels the whole billage. Those dat were not killed by the sploding poo were running around on fire. Meanwhile, Aog gets a pail of water and rushes back to da billage and see's the horrible devestation.. Pieces of Aogs billage begin falling from da sky and burn Aogs arms and hair, Aog then dumps da water on himself, but dat only do so much for the other spots da burn him so he run back to riber and jump in. Soon, whole forest goes up in flames and Aog, stunned by his magical discover floats down stream and into a new life.

Chapter 2 - Between Rok and Hardplace.

Aog floated down riber for a long time. Pretty soon Aog decide to get out of riber and he swim to shore. Aog crawl on sandy beach and wait to dry off. Aog know dat wet cloths make for bad rash, so Aog rest then fell asleep. When Aog wakes up, he hears boices of 2 other ogres, and Aog say "Hey!" The boices both say "WHUT!?" Aog den say "I donno." Then from the trees come two ogres one shorter than other and both shorter than Aog. Aog den say "Who you two?" Da shorter one say "My name Rok, and dis is Hardplace." "Hardplace, dat strange name for ogre," Says Aog. Hardplace den say "My name comes from several generations of very powerful ogres, and I recieved my name at a coronation in my village after one of the elders tried to hit me on my head, and it broke his hand. From then on, I was named Hardplace." Aog think about this for a while and knocked himself on his own head and said "yup, is hardplace." So began da adbentures of Rok, Aog and Hardplace.

(To Be Continued)

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Volunteer (UPDATE)

well, it turns out that I did not get in trouble after all.. more of a slap on the hand stating "Don't do that anymore and you'll be just fine." But before that was clarified to me, two supervisors and one lead, their names are withheld because it makes it more dramatic, strongly encouraged me to file an application for the Lead spot. So, today I am going to spend time between hanging out with my girlfriend at her step-neices birthday party and the the hockey game I am going to tonight to have one of the supervisors help me make my application an award winning application. Now I understand that if someone else without any disciplinary actions apply they might get the job before me, but this is the job I have been wanting since the day I got hired. Besides I am willing to break out my bionic kneepads and even fore go the pay raise in order to prove to them I really want the job.

Please, if you can, or want, wish me luck. I really need the boost in my moral.. and Tier 1 really needs some leads that know what they are doing.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Volunteer...

What is a volunteer?

1. a person who voluntarily offers himself or herself for a service or undertaking.
2. a person who performs a service willingly and without pay.

Recently I volunteered my expertise to my supervisors to create a seating chart. My reward for this endevour? A six month extention on my services in Tier 1. Basically I got a write-up for being late from returning from my breaks while I worked on the seating charts. Now it is mostly my fault for not sending up exceptions, but I had to beg a supervisor to give me a day to work on the damn chart. So, at this time, I am officially telling management that if they want seating charts they can do the damn things themselves. I am getting punished for doing work related things during work related times and getting in trouble for it.

No more. I want away from Tier 1, away from the angry customers, away from the supervisors and leads that look at me with distain.

So, we'll see what happens over the next 6 months.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Strange titles, random crap... and FYI.

Strange Titles:

"The Monkey in the Tree" by Hu Fling Poo

"Under the Grandstands" by Seymor Butts

"Down the Yellow River" by I. P. Freely

"Dealing with STD's" by Dick Burns

"100 Yard to the Outhouse" by Willie Makit - Forward by Betty Doant

"A Cat's Revenge" by Claude D. Balls



Random Crap and questions:


Why do kids ask dumb questions?

Why do adults ask dumb questions?

Whats the difference between a kid on a big-wheel, and an adult behind a steering wheel?

Purple.

A lost cause is only worthless when you give it to your friend.

Blue shirts hurt.

Before you jump in the gene pool, make sure its more than ankle deep.

Don't call for phone support from the phone your having problems with.

When the teacher told you to stay within the lines, she meant it so you dont kill someone later.

What is the difference/similarity between a car and a handgun?



For Your Information:

3000lb of plastic and steel will kill you just the same as 1.5oz of lead and copper

Comedians are only as funny as the people that laugh at their jokes.

The average city in the United States spends $30,000 - $100,000+ to paint yellow, white lines on the road to help keep you and your passengers safe. It takes only half of a second to lose enough concentration to cause you to cross one of those lines and kill someone.

A 60mph head on collision causes your body to feel 50 times heavier than it is for a very short time. It only takes 25lbs of pressure to break a rib, and another 5lbs of pressure for that rib to rupture your heart and kill you.

Water that is still steaming is hotter than the air around it. If it is 90F outside and you see steam on the top of you cup of coffee, do not put it between your legs.

There is no such thing as an accident. It is impossible for something to be an accident in a cause/effect reality.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

You, Your computer, and Me....

Okie-day kiddeo's, its time for Creepy Uncle Rusty's guide to your computer.

1. If you are reading this, its probably cause you know how to use your computer. So I will skip to #2.

2. Okay, so you are reading on, perhaps to find something funny or entertaining, but most likely you are trying to see if I actually know something. Okay, here goes.

You DON'T need an anti-virus if you do the following; DON'T DOWNLOAD CRAP. Lets say you are looking for updates to your favorite game, you do a google search and decide to grab what ever one is the top in the list. This takes you to some website that claims they have the update to your game and tappity-tap-tap you have yourself a download in progress. You run it when its done, and it asks you to restart your PC. Guess what monkey, you just installed a virus. Your lazy dumb ass was too retarded to go to the games website, or the publishers website and now you are infected. Great job genius, now what are you going to do? I know, lets call your Internet service provider and complain vehemently that it is all the fault of the Internet Provider that you got infected. Thats like blaming the nurse that took your temperature for your last orgy where you took it in the butt and got HIV.

Now, many of you also open up emails like they are the next $100 million dollar prize winner, infact that was a scam that went around for a while, anyway, the instructions in this email are to go to this 'special' website and download a small program so we can identify you for the purposes of delivering this HUGE sum of money. Cept, guess what! YOU got infected, faster than a horny sailor in a port whore house. Don't be stupid, don't open email from locations or emails that you cannot identify.

Lastly, if your computer happens to be running slow, or takes forever to start, or you get dookie-tons of pop-ups, don't come whining to me to fix your crap. Talk to a PC technician, I don't get paid enough to troubleshoot stupid.

Here is a simple test to determine if you deserve to have a computer:

1. Can you type with more than 2 fingers? If yes, proceed to step 2, otherwise, take your computer back to where you got it and dont ever buy a computer ever.
2. If you can type with at least 4 fingers per hand, can you type at least 20 words per minutes, proceed to step 3, otherwise, you might want to take some classes at your local college to increase your words per minute.
3. Can you identify the major components of your computer? Can you tell the difference between the power button on your monitor and the power button on your pc? If so, proceed to step 4, otherwise you may want to look into PC's for Dummies and read it.
4. Do you know the difference between your email program and your browser program? If so, proceed to step 5, otherwise, You need to look into classes at your local college for Computer Literacy 101.
5. Do you know where to find programs that you do not frequently use? If so, proceed to step 6, otherwise, poke around the start menu and identify the following programs, Command Prompt, Internet Explorer, Outlook Express, Mac Mail, Safari, Network Configuration and Control Panel, System Preferences. This will help your Telephone Support Representative fix your issue.
6. You are qualified to use your computer, and should not have any problems with dealing with the internet, however, this does not entitle you to treat your support representatives like shit, you are still stupid compared to many of the representatives you call. And If you "know" everything, why are you calling us?

Friday, November 7, 2008

That sour taste in your mouth? It isnt bile.

Lately, things havent been going so well for me. My knee has caused me to not be able to continue bowling, wakes me up at night, and has helped reduce the amount of physical affections I have had with Rachel. Thankfully I have a good support system, but the one that I know I can depend on is the VA(Veterans Affairs) cept when I went to them yesterday, I got fed the same crap I have heard from them for ages. "We don't feel that..." Now, I dont mind getting told that an option is not something that the VA recommends, but here is a major catch in the whole process. The VA does clinical studies on patients with knee issues for new proceedures, however the age group they focus on are the 60+ year old veterans, many of which are in generally poor physical condition and/or mental condition and are unable to change their lifestyle to make clinical trials work. Here I am a 38 year old with the knees of a 70 year old, and the last procedure that was offered was a shot of Cortizone.

I dont know. Lets give some 70 year old who has been dependant on a scooter or wheel chair the option of knee surgery so that he might be able to get to walk again before he dies, or let a 40 year old never have an opportunity to play catch with his kid in the backyard.

Anyway, I digress. I spoke with a mental health representative with the VA and I am now scheduled to meet with one of the Dr's to determine what can be done with my anger management and communication issues. I hope this works, anything to help me make myself better for Rachel. Besides I dont want to have a heart attack...

So, that foul taste in your mouth... its not happiness.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Redistribution... Pt. 2

Now mind you I didn't intend for Redistribution... article to become a 2-parter. However when a co-worker stated she was going to vote for Obama/Liden, I asked her what her thoughts were on Redistribution of Wealth, and she expressed it was a great idea. Make the rich pay more because they can afford it. However, there is one small problem that she didn't think of, or maybe she was just too lazy to learn about it.

Redistribution of wealth, definition for those of you who do not know what it means.

The redistribution of wealth is the transfer of wealth from some persons to others.

This can occur in three ways:

Method 1. Charity. The voluntary act of giving a sum of money to an organization who then gives the money to one or more persons in need.

Method 2. Capitalism. The basics of economics, buying and selling of products that generates a redistribution from consumer to producer to employees.

Method 3. Government. The forceable act of using taxation rates to increase the tax on those at a certain tax bracket and easing the tax rates on those below.

How does Obama's plan effect you? For more than 1/3rd the population of America, it won't. They don't pay taxes, or earn just enough money to receive money from the government at tax time. The top 5% of money earners in the US will be taxed heavily and the bottom percent will get checks for not even working.

Still sound fair? Try on this. Redistribution of Wealth can also be compared to the Trickle-down effect. The more money you make, the more you get taxed, and that money is suppose to work its way down to those below you. Good idea right? Wrong, many Americans think that they are the bottom rung on the ladder and they think that its not going to effect them. How wrong they are. The only group to benefit from this idea are those that truly are at the bottom, those that have no source of income, or such a small source that it is insignificant.

Wrap yourself around this novel concept. I work in an IT field, I make about $25k a year, which for me is pretty good, if I stay at my job, my tax rate will probably remain the same, but someone that is making considerably less than I am is going to receive a bigger chunk of the new "pie" than I am. I decide to up and quit and start a new job that is just barely minimum wage. I can then earn more because I am doing less or hardly anything at all. Does that seem fair?

Call it what you want, but to me the idea of Redistribution of Wealth is just another crutch for welfare recipients to get more and do less.

Congratulations Obama, you have become like the pied piper, and gathered millions of welfare children to your doorstep just to get the seat of President. Great job. Now, where's my check?

Vote Nationalist, Vote Green Party, Vote for yourself. Show the Government that we are NOT a two party system. We will not continue to be preyed upon by those who only care about themselves.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Redistribution...

Only 4 more days until all hell breaks loose, so I ask, Are you ready?

Wealth:

A guy is walking to his favorite diner and as he walked in he passed a homeless guy standing on the corner holding up a "Vote for Obama" sign. The guy smiles and he walks into the diner and as the waiter approaches he notices the waiter is wearing an "Obama" button.

When the meal was completed, the waiter delivered the check and the guy left $0 for the tip. the waiter then asked why he didnt tip, and the guy states "I am going to put this Redistribution of Wealth idea into practice, and the waiter followed the guy outside and the guy gave the homeless guy $10.

Now the waiter earned that tip, and was pissed that the homeless guy didnt do squat and got paid $10.

I ask you, do you want someone to earn your hard earned money for doing nothing?

Health Care:

Now, let me ask you this... What would you say to the idea that you only have to pay $1000 for open heart surgery? Now what would you say to the idea that you only have to pay $1000 for a hang-nail? sound fair? Socialized medicine is such a waste of breath. You want cheap healthcare? join the military.

So, are you ready?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Personal Responsibility: Crime and Punishment

So, this may or may not be a long rant, but here goes.

Employee Smith is a high ranking official in the security division of the company's IT department. One day Smith goes off and makes a few wagers on a sporting event and loses his shirt, as well as his car, house, 401k, and family pet. He knows he cant fork over the kind of money he bet on a sure-win. He finds out he has access to hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of private information that his company has stored for its clients. He decides to make money and 'borrow' the information and accidently lose it and mysteriously find a couple hundred grand in his bank account. He gets caught. Should he A) be fired on the spot and black listed from future jobs in that field, B) fired and sent to jail for XX number of years, or C) get a reprimand from his bosses and told not to do it again?

Employee Jones, has a pretty high level of permissions from the company. In an innocent attempt to make his life easier, he breaches security and posts something not to be designated for public view. Information that could lead to 10's of thousands of clients from being able to access vital resourses that the company provides. He gets caught. Should he A) be fired on the spot, B) get a disciplinary action against him C) slap on his hand from his bosses and told not to do it again?

Both instances can be potentially hazardous to the continued well being of the company, but do the crimes match? and should the punishments be what they are?

Both are victims of thier own circumstance, yet both will blame other things than themselves in hopes that they wont get punished as bad. Sadly, this lack of personal responsibility is not a natural trait, its very much a learned condition and as such will never go away if superior employees do not take it upon themselves to rid their company of such harmful responses to harmful actions.

Personal Accountability.

If I am pulling into a parking space and I miss judge the space and scrape the car, I would probably 1. feel really horrible that I messed up someones car, but I would also leave my information with that car so that the owner can contact me and we can exchange information... Too many times has this happened and the guy/gal has pulled out of the spot (usually doing double damage) only to go park some where else further away...

Only in America can you be ignorant and get awarded $millions for burning your 80-year old cooch with hot coffee from McDonalds. Only in America can you blindly change lanes into an 18-wheeler and have your brand new lexus totalled, then sue the trucking company $millions for not being able to have 'intimate relations' with your spouse. Only in America can you threaten to sue to get your way. "My lawyer can beat up your lawyer."

Welcome to the litigation nation!

Ladies and gentlemen, its is with heavy heart and mind that I tell you that it is okay to sue a school district and make them pay you to have your kid not go to school due to some 'affliction' to learning.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is okay to sue your neighbor because his apple tree liters in your yard.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is okay to sue a retailer because their advertising of half naked bodies gives you a tingle in the place where your priest used to touch you.

Ladies and gentlemen, its time that I, no, WE file a class action lawsuit against lawyers everywhere for the injustice they have helped create, and for the countless millions of people they have taken advantage of and for all the people who have had their most basic level of logic and common sense taken away all in the name of 'justice.'

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The following message is...

Greetings and salutations fellow readers of Chainmail Madness. Todays episode is brought to you by the letters "m" "l" "n".

As you have read, the letters m l and n in the right order looks vaguely like flipping someone off. mln, depending on which font you use, but the symbolism is there. Anyway, I am sitting here at work trying to determine what I wanted to write about and this idea pops into my head after I smile at a coworker and give him the universal salute.

'The Finger', or 'The Bird', can date its history all the way back to roman times. It was then, as it is now, an insult, with a wide variety of uses. Many cultures use different versions of the bird, but all mean pretty much the same, "Buddy, your #1."

Now, I asked myself this morning, why is it that I grin like an idiot and flip off some of my co-workers. Honestly, I have no idea, but it is fun to have a cheesy grin plastered on my face and drop the subtle hint to my friends that they are #1 in my book. So, if you get the random finger, dont feel insulted, its just my way of saying... bugger off!

Now on to more important issues:

Important issue #1: Technology failure. My Xbox 360 died last night at 4:30pm. Funeral services will be held tomorrow at the United Postal Service annex in Norwalk. Shipping has been paid by Microsoft for the known issue that the Xbox has with graphics cards failing. Please offer any support and condolances to Rusty in his time of grief.

Important issue #2: Technology failure. My PC died a week prior, the motherboard and or processor committed ritual suicide. There was a note left on the screen, "No keyboard present or found." The keyboard was questioned in the suicide being a primary suspect for foul play, however keyboards alabi was verified by the mouse and a laptop. Plans on replacing the motherboard and cpu are in the works, but no eta at this time.

Important issue #3: Relationship report. Due to the overwhelming need to vent frustrations towards anyone and everyone that would listen, my girlfriend of just over a year has been the target recipient of many of my rants, which caused untold pain and mental anguish for her. All is not good at this time, but with my resolution to find adequate counseling services for my needs (anger management, relationship, etc) If I start acting wierd, please bear with me, this is a work in progress.

Important issue #4: Entertainment report. Today I get to pick up my copy of Fallout 3. But due to issue number #2 I cannot play until new motherboard is aquired. So, the sadness will begin today when I get the game.

Wish me luck.. Wish Rachel luck.. Wish us both luck.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Stupid jokes and other crap.

A school trip to the museaum took the children thru the statue section. One child kind of hung back and contemplated the 4 statues in front of him. The teacher approached him and asked, "Timmy, whats wrong?"
"Well, Mr. Smith, I am puzzled about these for statues," stated Timmy.
"Thats easy Timmy, the first one is the 'Great Smeller', see how he is pinching his nose? The second statue is the 'Great Pointer', the third is the 'Great Guesser', and the fourth one is the 'Great Thinker." announced the teacher proudly.
Timmy let out a sigh of relief and said, "I thought it was 'Who let a fart?', 'He did!', 'Who did?', 'I did.'"




This duck walks in to a bar, then hops on the bar and looks at the bartender and asks "Got any fish?"
"No." replied the bartender.
The duck hops down and waddles out.

The very next day, the duck waddles in, hops on the bar, and asks "Got any fish?"
"Um... No"
The duck leaves.

This goes on for several days, and it starts to wear on the bartender, and one morning the duck waddles in, hops on the counter and asks "Got any fish?" The bartender snaps and states with anger "Look duck, you have been coming in here for days asking me for fish and every time I state NO. If you come in here again, I am going to nail your feet to the bar and let people pull your feathers out one at a time!"
The duck was shocked and left in a quick hurry.

Three days later the duck poked his head around the corner and peered inside, slowly waddled his way to the bar, jumped up on the bar and looked the bartender square in the eye, and asked... "Got any nails?" "No!" "So, got any fish?"




Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.


Monday, October 20, 2008

Wide Awake, Bored as Hell

So, here it is, boiled down to two basic concepts. Figure out a way to go home early, probably at the cost of a write-up(6 months probation), knowing that I am going to have to come back and do it all over again the next day, or bite my tongue and let these self-serving wastes of fresh air spew their hatred for the company that provides them a service that they requested and frankly dont need and therefore is considered a luxury, give in to their demands of credit, satisfaction and give them a general sense of well-being and the knowledge that they can successfully bully the luxury company in to giving them what they want.

Now, I dont need my bank, I am perfectly capable of storing my money at home in a safe, and using cash as necessary, but I dont call them up getting pissy with them demanding tons of personal satisfaction when a check bounces, or their drive-up is closed, or a teller cant help me resolve an issue. Then again, I am not one of these types of people that grew up being the bully at school, knocking down the smaller kids and taking their lunch money either.

So, from now on, the next time I hear any of the following phrases from a customer I am going to help them in the corosponding manner.

"I think I will call someone else if I cant get better service" - "Okay Mrs. Jones, let me transfer you to the correct department so that we may facilitate that request."

"I think I deserve credit for 2 months for my services being down!" - "Okay Mr. Smith, I can certainly help you feel that you are getting the satisfaction you deserve, but your account shows that you are 45 days past due, would you like to make a payment to bring your account to current so that I may apply that credit?"

"You people should get out here right now and fix this, I run a business from my home and I am losing thousands of dollars every day. I need my internet right now!!!" - "I am sorry Mrs. Choi, I am unable to facilitate that request, I can schedule a technician to come out, but I have to let you know that the turn around time is 24-72 hours." (then I schedule it for the longest period possible)

"You people just have a problem serving black people is that it?" - "Ma'am, I am black."

So, there you have it. From now on that is all I am going to be doing. As much as I can for as little stress as I can. No more are these people going to harass me and bully me and cuss at me.

And Mr. Customer, you dont like it, you can kiss my pale, cratered, white ass.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Joe the Plumber?!??

Okay, now I have to be honest here, I don't care at all for the current level of politics in the United States. But this media attack on the guy who is supposed to represent the average 'Joe', who is getting investigated and probed and poked and proded by the media is utter bull crap. Here is a guy that caught media attention by asking one of the presidential candidates a valid question about how the government is going to ass-rape him and his company if he exceeds $250,000 in earnings.

Now they (the media) drag this average Joe thru the grinder and find out that he owes $xxxx in back taxes... Okay. so now Joe is a bad guy and his question is no longer valid? Does that mean if I owe $XX,000 in education loans that I am a bad guy, and that my needs are not valid as well?

I am glad that we have an impartial media who respects the rights and opinions of its reader base by not being bias and by not using someone elses history against political candidates.

No matter your political views, I beg you, implore you, educate yourself on all sides of the political dice. I use dice because there are more than just 2 people competing for the position of President of these United States. Vote your heart, not your fathers affiliation.

Fallout 3 Release



As you can see, there is a timer for Fallout 3. This game releases soon, and I have been looking forward to it for quite some time. Now here comes the hard part... I dont know if I will be 'involved' after I get this game. I know its going to occupy 90% of my waking life (except work)... My Rachel have mercy on my soul!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Hey Bubba Joe! I wonder that this thing does? *CLICK*

I am bored. I am manic. I am going to do what ever I can to either piss you off, make you smile, or elicit any other emotion from your tired, worn down, dragged thru the mud, stepped on, crapped on, emotionally void butt and get you to show us some feelings.

As you can read in the title, my rant today is about the stupid shit we do every day that confirms that Darwin was actually right. Good God!

A 19 year old male fell to his death in Harlem, NY the other day. He and a friend were on the top of a 6 story building, dropping eggs from the roof as a prank. They were spotted and the 19 year old decided to run for it and instead of coming down the stairs, he lept a retaining wall thinking that there was another roof on the other side, only to discover that there wasnt. Imagine the look of shock when gravity took over from there. O.O = x.x

Now, I have done more than my fair share of hooligan things in the past, but I almost always ALWAYS had an exit stragedy. No suprises for ol Mrs Shadowhunters son!

On a lighter note, the stocks are down, and our government decided it would be a great idea to bail out our financial system in order to save the system from failure... stocks are still down. I wonder what the BTU(British Thermal Unit) of a bundle of $100 bills is. Think it will be warm enough for me to make sure Rachel doesnt freeze?

"Stupid is as Stupid does" - Forrest Gump

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

DUMBASS MOVE ON YOUR PART!

For those of you that dont know i do have my own blog spot but put more of my randomness on there where this is more of a rant or HA type blog so i may double post and i apologize to those of you who follow both and for those that dont http://schwasrandomness.blogspot.com is my addy to my Randomness blog.

So i really didnt want to do this but i think its soo funny and classic like something you would see in a movie type thing so here is my conversation with my ex roomate. things started on sat when i had my best friend, who now lives in vegas, show up to hang out, well roomate was fully moved out so i decided to move my couch and two chairs upstairs becuase we would be drinking and that way we would be closer to the beer and b-room. all is well right :D i get an email on 10/14 from the ex-roomate stating: Normally in a situation like this i would be bitchy and say WHAT THE FUK IS GOING ON. BUT in not going to. Mainly because i forsaw this happening. i wasnt completely positive you were going to screw me over till you asked for your dishes the other night. Then came you ignoring me ect. Well im not pissed. maybe its for the best. I think we were better friends when we didnt live together. I know you planned this. Not like all of a sudden the night before you can just come up with 2 people to live with you. But hey Im glad you found someone at least. Like i said before im not mad pissed ect. Gotta find anotehr roomie for a lil bit but thats ok. We will manage. If you still wanna be friends mail or text me some time. If not then dont lol. TTUL BUD well if you choose. now for the funny part here are the texts as follows:Me: Just got your email what is that supposed to mean?Him: What u think?Me: well i dont have anyone moving in with me ive been packing so you have assume thingsHim: Not wat we was told.Me: who you getting your information thru cause i dont know what the hell your talking aboutHim: Ur neighbors said u had 2 guys movn in sat night.Me: Ha thats funny i moved my couch and two chairs upstairs so i guess that means i have a new roomate who visits occasionally from las vegas where he is in the air force and just got back from iraqHim: Oh. evalyn said u had ppl movn in.Me: nope but i guess i m now moving in with my parentsHim: Sorry. We askd stinky 2 move in till jan cuz we was told u had roomiesMe: well your loss next time ask me instead of getting false information from someone who has no clue what the hell they are talking aboutHim: Yeah def my loss. Wuld rathr it b u. sorry man. makes me feel like an ass now.Me: that and im not too happy eitherHim: Dnt blame u. Im so snrry dude.This is all word for word no lies i will show you the proof!! :D moral of the story: Dont assume what someone tells u is what really is going on. go to the person and face to face ask them. I dont know where i will go from here with the ex-roomate. We were really good friends, even living together we got along, it was his g/f that would cause our issues. I guess i should not be mad at him since i didnt want to tell him i was actually moving in with my parents over him to save money and to pay off my debts. So in the long run it did work out on my half but im in a pickle, since it wont hurt him not to know i was really moving in with my parents and not him do i ethically tell him or leave it to myself? Either way i still wanna be friends so i think i might just keep that to myself and let him be the dumbass for once since they pretty well screwed me in the long run. Well thats it for now, untill next time....

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Hey! Buddy! Yeah, you in the front row!

How many of you can remember the following:

1. What you wanted to be when you grew up?
2. The name of your favorite toy?
3. Your best friend in the whole world?
4. Your first day at school or a new school?
5. The first time you realized that the opposite sex wasnt a cootie-coated monstrosity?
6. Your first kiss?
7. Your first real kiss?
8. The first time you realized that you were happy, no matter what?
9. The first time you realized what it means to be in love with someone?
10. The worse time you and a loved one fought? (not related to you)
11. The first time you threw up after an arguement of any kind?

Let me tell you my answers. I wanted to be an astronaught when I was a kid, I can remember bits and pieces of the Apollo space missions being televised, but I couldnt tell you which missions they were. But I knew in my heart I wanted to go into space.
My favoritist toy I ever had was anything I got my hands on that I could imagine was something else. A stick was a rifle/sword/lightsaber... A rock was a car/grenade/rock... My best friend was a kid named Stoney, we did pretty much everything together, put pennies on the railroad track, rode our bikes all over our neighborhood, explored everything that was not fenced to keep us out. My first day at school is not much more than a faded memory, not even a flicker of where I was at the time, but I can remember the first school play I watched. The Wizard of Oz, and to this day I still dont know how they made the wicked witch melt into the gym floor.
I remember my first crush, Kerri Ashley, she was brown haired girl in the 3rd grade with me. A couple years later I was getting my vaccine updated when I met her mom. Kerri didnt even know I existed.

I remember my first kiss, Christina Pinkerton, she lived in my neighborhood but went to a different elementary school. All of us kids in the group would run around from dawn to dusk(or later), and I think it was kind on natural that we were our first kiss. Granted my cousin kinda helped me see the light. My first real kiss came from a gal that my high school friend set me up with. We decided to walk home from school, and we were over 4 hours late getting her home.

The first time I really, truely and completely felt happy was the day I asked Rachel to be my girlfriend. I was happy before that day when Rachel and I would go roller blading, biking, walking or just sit together and talk. But I was happy, more than any other time in my life. My first time with thinking I was truely in love with someone also came with Rachel, in the past I always thought I was in love with my girlfriend, but I always 'knew' it would end up bad, maybe self prophesy occurred, and most of those relationships ended poorly. But with Rachel, its very much different, she is always first and formost on my mind, and I think about her needs before mine. That is what I think true love is.

Mind you, I have had several bad arguements(fights) with my significant others, but the one that I let boil over the last 5 months just completely blew up in my face last night. You see, Rachel is not only the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, she is also one of my best friends, one of the guys so to speak. And because she is always there for me, I tend to vent my frustrations for things at her, and she cant handle the stress that I have added to her life. So, last night I exploded, I was upset that Roommate doesnt put forth an effort to help keep the kitchen area clean, trash will just sit, until I get frustrated and take it out myself, dishes will pile up and at one point, there was not a single clean dish in the whole kitchen, I finally got upset and did the damn things myself, and I all got from anyone else, was a thank you from Rachel with the crevat of 'I was going to do it today.' That stirred the simmering pot and festered, then last night the comment that was made that an annoyance of mine might not be someone elses annoyance just pushed me over the edge and I lost it. Any of you have an elder member of your family that canned foods? Ever seen when a pressure cooker goes postal, and shoots greenbeans and bacon all over the ceiling? not pretty! I was within a hairs breadth of losing the only woman in my life that means more to me than even myself. After the whole arguement, I ended up throwing up, and that was a first as well.

I prayed last night as I drifted into a restless sleep that I find the right ways to communicate more effectively with everyone around me. And that I can find the way to repair my relationship.

Please forgive me.

Please.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Weekend with the Kids

Guys? Remind me to never ever never ever never ever never ever never ever never ever invite a two-year-old over for more than a couple of hours without first having some two-year-old toys.

On the up-side, said two-year-old found four of our lost scissors and prompted us to clean up a lot of the clutter in the dining/living room. Especially the acrylic and spray paints.

Wow, a game company's greed!

Blizzard has announced recently that they are not releasing StarCraft 2 as they had released StarCraft 1. Instead, they will be releasing it as 3 seperate games. Ladies and gentlemen gamers, you are about to be screwed by Blizzard for the game you have wanted for 11 years. Now if you are like me and want to play all three races, you will have to shell out $50-$65 per title, thats $150-195 over the course of a year to play the same damn game.

I guess that the Designers at Blizzard need to buy a new Lamborgini this year. Hell after their ongoing success of WoW, they need thier 3rd Lambo...

Frankly, I dont know what I will do, but I might end up getting in trouble and 'borrowing' the other two versions after paying for the first.

At least Half-Life 2 Episodes were $25 each, and included extra stuff like Team Fortress and Portal.

Greedy bastards.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Moving issues

So i am moving here in the next few days. I am supposed to be moving in with my current roomate of whom i get along with great. the bad thing is his good for nothing worthless g/f, fiance, ugly bumping friend, or whatever they call there off again on again relationship. She gets pissy for no damn reason, bitches at him then he relays the message on to me. Well our internet got turned off, i dont have all the money in the world right now so that bill was not as important to me to pay cause its not a necessity, yes i m gonna go insane without my online gaming but i will get over it. Well the main issue at hand here is that i get a text message from the ass hat saying you have no idea how BOREING it is with no f*k*ng internet or cable. exact words but no censor (for the young readers). so i respond well u cant complain because you havnt ever payed for any of this bill. he comes back well ive offered blah blah blah bitch bitch moan moan, i laughed him off no big deal. What im coming to realise is that i let him and the bitch move into my duplex with there son knowing they did not have a lot of money and cut them a break. Well they ended up buying a house thru the usda and are moving out this weekend. At first they were like its gonna be just us all is good i start looking for my own place. i find its hard as shit to get the money saved up for a security deposit and first months rent because i m paying out my ass already. so i ask and they agree to let me move in with them to get the money saved up. as it gets closer and closer to move day i keep asking myself do i really want to keep putting up with this? So i called my mom on a whim last night saying i needed to speak with her and my dad about moving back home to get bills paid and money saved and vehicles fixed. she said thats fine so now i wait and keep thinking man do i really want to do this. I mean i dont want to put up with an ass hat of a roomate and the bitch but i dont want to not have a personal life... and since they live in the country that means no highspeed internet for my gaming, ima have withdrawals. so i need some advice i wanna save the money but i wanna have a personal life. what should i do? feel free to speak to me in person or leave a message on here saying HEY DUMBASS DONT BE SO R TARDED AND DO THIS!!! my mind is all over the place right now so i do apologize to those of you i snap at, its nothing personal so please dont take it like it is.....so..untill next time...

Caffiene addiction: Day 3

Okay, so, here is an update to my breaking the chains of my addiction... I am in a state where I am cranky, if I take it out on you, dont take it personal. I am also suffering from the yawns. I cant seem to stay awake when I should be wide awake. I am getting plenty of sleep, so this shouldnt be a problem but it is. I hope I can kick this freaking addiction.

On a lighter note. Fire is hot, ice is cold, roses are mostly red, some violets are blue. I know not what I write, but I know what to do. Find a new addiction, one that doesnt hurt. Find a new outlet, vent my frustration on things that no one else cares about. I am sorry..

I am sorry.

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Now on to the funnies!

Okay, now I am famous for calling 911 and reporting dumbass drivers, but the gentleman this morning takes the cake for October!

On my way to work, I stopped by Kum&Go and got a Gatoraid, upon leaving, I waited at a light and a car in opposite lane made a right turn, once the light turned green I made my left turn, just about to the onramp for the highway I take to get to work, I get caught up to this pristine looking 2008 Mustang. This car looked good! Anyway, on the ramp we are not overly close to each other, and once the ramp straightens out, the guy puts the hammer down and takes off away from me. No big deal to me, I start following at a good 5 second lag and soon I am doing 90mph and the guy in the 'stang is comfortably ahead of me. Soon we approach the interchange and dingdong decides to brake hard then get behind me. 'Piss on it' I think and I keep going. Just before my exit, a fast moving car gets in behind me and then pops the bubblegums and I get pulled over. During my short chat with one of Iowas best (no insult, this officer was very professional and completely understanding) we determine that someone had reported me for excessive speed. No sweat, I have done that many times myself. But whats interesting is I ask if the guy that reported me told the 911 dispatch that he too was going in excess of 90mph, the officer then gets the ph# for dipshit and calls him, and he admits that he was speeding and wanted to report me for tailgating, officer already knew that I was giving a good 5-7 second lead on the first car and the way I explained it, was I was only going as fast as the guy in front of me. I was still wrong and I fully expected to get in trouble for my actions, but the officer decided that if he punished me, he would have to find the guy and punish him as well. All said and done, I was only 10 minutes delayed from work and got released by the officer with a verbal warning.

My lesson from all of this, if a douche bag wants to go fast, let him. If he wants to report you for going fast, let him. But dont be an offender then expect someone to get in trouble for what your doing wrong too.




"Do you have unsightly nose hair? Big bushy dust catching nose hair? You need hair-b-gone! *caution, use of hair-b-gone may cause excessive hair loss in the genital area, sudden death syndrome, and/or nausea. If you experience any of these symptoms, call a doctor immediately."

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Mohavista: Technology Review

This is my first techie review, and I am medicated on Vicodin. If you dont like it, here is some bricks, morter and some scaffolding. Build a bridge and get over it.

Ever wonder why your brand new Microsoft Vista PC from Wal-mart is so freaking slow? Or why your new laptop doesnt seem to perform the way it was advertised? Let me see if I can answer these strange mystical technological anomalies for you.

1. My computer is slow my old Windows 95 wasnt this slow, why? Your cheap ass bought a PC from walmart and got an increadible savings of $400 for your new system. Here is what your cheap, tightwad ass got for you, a life time of headaches and instant hatred for your computer and windows vista. Here is why, Vista is an operating system that requires alot of resources, resources that your POS pc doesnt have, like RAM (random access memory) the space where all your applications go when you open them, CPU (Central Processing Unit) the brains of your PC, this is the number cruncher part of your pc, hard drive, the storage location that saves all your files.

If these things do not meet, or just barely exceed the recommended minimum requirements of Vista, your computer will run like crap thru a constipated monkey. Its gonna piss you off, and your gonna call everyone from your best friend to your internet provider and complain about it. Guess what tightass, its your own freaking fault. Next time talk to a consultant and help them get an idea of what you need for a PC and they will recommend what works best for you. Sure you might spend $1000 for a new computer, but if you follow this simple rule you get further in life.

Rule #1. For every $100-200 you spend on a desktop system, monitor not included, you can expect 1 year of service life for the computer. Spend $1000 and you can expect your pc to last for at least 5-7 years.
Rule #2. For every $200-400 you spend on a laptop system, you can expect 1 year of service life for the laptop. Spend the same $1000 and you can expect the laptop to last 3-5 years.

Next thing you need to do once you get your new PC home is call the freaking manufacturer, talk to technical support, and have them step by step remove the craptacular 'trial' software they installed on your computer, that is a good 50% of all problems with store bought pc's. Then after all that is said and done, learning how to do your own basic maintanence like clearing the browser history, scanning for malware and getting rid of programs you dont need will do absolute wonders for your "I am NOT going to spend a lot of money on a glorified calculator" computer system.

So, lets recap.

Minimum Requirements for Windows Vista Home Premium Edition:
Certain product features are not available with minimum supported requirements
  • 800 MHz processor and 512 MB of system memory.

  • 20 GB hard drive with at least 15 GB of available space.

  • Support for Super VGA graphics.

  • CD-ROM drive.


  • Most inexpensive computer system from a retailer.
  • 1.5GHz VIA C7-D processor - This high-performing processor works at maximum efficiency to increase your productivity.

  • 512MB DDR2 memory - Allows you to use several applications without a decrease in performance

  • 80GB Hard Drive - Store all your important documents and files on this large hard drive

  • DVD-ROM/CD-RW Combo Drive - Burn CDs and watch your favorite DVDs on this versatile drive


  • Compare the red listed item above. If Vista requires 512 MHB of ram, and the computer only has 512 MB of ram, how do you expect it to perform when trying to run an application like say, World of Warcraft which also requires as a minimum 512 MB or more of RAM? Can you comprehend trying to run 1024 gallons of water thru a garden hose? how long do you think it will take to process all 1024 gallons of water?

    Next time you start to bitch about your PC being slow, grab the recipt and blame the person who paid for it.

    Wednesday, October 8, 2008

    Addictions: The price we pay..

    Is it possible to be addicted to sleep? Maybe I just dont get enough, who knows. What I do know is that my addiction to the wonderful carbonated-caffienated-fizzy-bubbly-tickle-you-nose elixer that many call soda and just as many others call it pop is trying to kill me. You see, I decided to quit drinking that killer of kidneys, the baron of burps, the facilitator of flatulence, my beloved cola. Its going well so far, only have a mild headache, which I am pretty sure will reach full blown crankiness in a couple hours. Just please, stand back and let the shakes begin.

    Also, on a lighter note. It is day 330 of my captivity here in the IT jungle. For many of you this is just a short time being held captive by my wallet and basic needs. I gotta tell you, I really am tired of getting yelled at, threatened, whined to, bitched at, and best of all, being told its not my fault, yet they still yell at me because their computer is borked. Of course its not my fault your pc is trash because you let your kid download crap from myspace, and if you recognize this, why are you yelling at your internet provider and not your pc repair guy? But on the light side of my captivity, I have become pretty good at what I do, and its being noticed by the head chief high muckety-mucks.

    God I need a Mt. Dew... my body is rejecting me. need caffiene... **drools**

    Well, this is unexpected. one of the guys decided to run off and buy me a dew! but I am going to do my best to drink only this one today. We'll see how that goes.

    Dammit... I havent even opened it and my body is feeling like suckling the cap like a newborn to a teet. Damn, I am addicted.

    Monday, October 6, 2008

    Monday: Good or bad, you decide.

    Its Monday morning, and I am at work. I am having probably one of the hardest times trying to stay awake. Infact I have drank over 1 ltr of Mt Dew since 4:30am and its 9:20a now. Ever have an epiphany? I think I just did... i am addicted to pop. Now I need to work on kicking my evil chain to that sweet substance. I wouldnt mind help, a good support system is a good place to start.

    To start, I am going to try for the next week to only drink 1 bottle (20oz) per day and the rest of the day only water or flavored water. The following week, only 1 (20oz) per week. then no more pop. Hardest part of this is kicking the caffiene addiction that is associated with the pop and sugar.

    I am so freaking tired... Is it because of the addiction.

    So, yesterday I posted a comment about the loss of common sense, this is especially a problem for those that use/abuse alcohol. People really need to think before they perform any action. Think before you speak, isnt that one common phrase?

    Oh God. I am rambling. please help me!

    Sunday, October 5, 2008

    Comedy or Tragedy? You decide.

    So, last night Rachel, Schwah, Myself and 3 other friends worth mentioning, but wont say names to protect the not-so-innocent decided to go to the Funny Bone to see The Untamed Shrews. Now if you havent heard of the Shrews, let me give you some insight, they are 2 women who spend the night being as vulgar as men at the bar talking about everything from buttplugs to vagina's. This show is definatly not for the faint of heart. So, at one point in the routine the gals had us in stitches and they start their next skit, the dating game. They picked three guys out of the audience mostly randomly I think, and asked each of them a question. Question 1. What would you name your penis if you could give it a name? Guy #1's answer: Billy Bob. An Angelina Jolie joke was popped up and a few other redneck type slams where thrown. All proceding nicely with a good laugh. Question #2. If you penis was a car, what kind of car would it be? Guy #2: What day of the week is it? This answer prompted a few jokes about Transformers and such, then one random guy in the audience blurted out "Dodge Ram", of course the gals decided to run with this one and ask how Guy A knew about Guy #2's dick. So they get back on track after turning this jackass inside out and Guy #2 said 4x4 Ford F150. Then some moron on the other side of the seating area yelled out and I quote "It has to be 4x4, cause its gonna get muddy!" Personally, after watching and listening to two very quick witted women shred the last vestige of a mans manlyness about knowing about another mans dick, I would not have made any kind of comment that would refer to penis, gaydom, and getting it 'muddy'. That made me sad to know that there are complete morons running around Iowa tarnishing our reputation for being good in school. Lastly, and this too is sad, what kind of moron would compare his dick to cheese?

    Anyway, the moral of this story, if there really is one is this. At a comedy club, you can generally expect some kind of audience participation, but ladies and gentlemen, do us all a favor, think about your answer when asked questions about your private parts.

    Until next time, this is Rusty Pickle from Comedy or Tragedy wishing you a good evening, and please dont forget to spay or neuter your children before they grow up to spread your stupidity in the gene pool. Have a good night.

    Friday, October 3, 2008

    Its a brand new day.

    Well, we are rapidly approaching 1 year in circulation. The greatest news about this is our readership has increased 600%!!!! w00t!

    So, its Friday, I am thinking about going bowling tonight with a couple friends and my girlfriend, hope things go well, and tomorrow, weather permitting, I may go in a bike ride to somewhere, not sure where yet though. probably a solo run, but who knows. Any ideas where I should go? keep in mind three things. I can ride for about an hour before I need gas, need to rest my ass, need to stretch. So, three hour drives are good, but only as long as I stay in Iowa.

    Anyway on to other landmarks for the 1st anniversary of the blog!
    1 year ago, I was working for Mediacom. (still am)
    1 year ago, Rachel and I were just starting our relationship. (still feels like it just started... I love it!)
    1 year ago, road rage was going to kill me, or some dipshit driving like a moron. Today I just sit back and relax and think to myself that they just have to poop. No more road rage for me. (cept in small manageable fits when dingdong highschooler in daddy's car, chatting on her cell with the stereo blaring hop-rap-pop-crap music decides to dive across the double solid white lines and cut me off.)
    1 year ago, I was happy then and I am happy now!

    Well, off to take my 100,000th call since July 07. Thank you for calling.... oh great, your service is down and you want credit? okay, have a good day.

    Thursday, October 2, 2008

    Women.

    Why is it that you can be single, have so many gal friends who love to talk/text to you about there problems and then sit there and say oh im so bored. But yet when u say hey let me buy you dinner just as a friend that way you have something to do and the excuses fly? I feel used, this happens more often then not, so my general response is "oh thats fine im used to that response." Then i get the general response back "oh your being stupid shut up!" as in a playful manner... Yes i love being single, but damn, i like to hang out with friends and dont always enjoy it being a sausage fest. No offense guys but comon u have to know where i m coming from. Its just nice to see/hang out with the opposite sex once and a while. Anymore i dont expect to hang out with anyone, i dont invite myself anywhere for the simple reason of hey im sure there will be an excuse made and the "plans" wont happen anyway. Again it happens more often then not and im starting to realise what a "real friend" is over a fake just need someone to gripe at/keep me busy till my "real" friends are there.

    YOU: *crunchmunch* *hackwheezecough* ME:**cringes**

    Okay, today is the day that I finally take a few minutes of your life away from your busy schedule to explain a few things that really really really annoy the rat piss out of me.

    1. When you call for technical support, dont hold the phone in such a way that the mic is next to your nose. I dont like hearing the rythmic rattle of your nasel congestion in a hurricane. Please, I would rather be on speaker phone than listen to you breathe.

    2. Speaking of speaker phone. I have several issues with that, 1, turn your damn tv off or the volume down. I really dont want to try to fight listening to you talk while some talk show host is in the background with music blaring. Turn off your cell while your at it.

    3. Instead of calling in from your home phone and describing that you are having phone issues and cannot place or recieve calls, don't get pissy when the tech you call and speak to suddenly disappears when (s)he resets your modem. We reset them to fix issues and if your on it, its gonna cause it to not work.

    4. (insert service here) not working? Don't wait until the last minute before you are supposed to leave for your vacation and expect us to have your service work the moment you need it. Get a freaking clue and call when the problem happens so we can fix it then, not later.

    5. Chewing things, snot bubbles, gas bubbles. Let me explain something here. If you wouldnt want someone doing those things right in front of your face, why do you think its okay to do it in our ears? Call us after you have had breakfast, spit out the gum, blow you freaking nose, and take some Gas-X.

    Get it? I doubt it, but I hope you do get it.

    Wednesday, October 1, 2008

    Games.

    Game - noun, adjective, gam·er, gam·est, verb, gamed, gam·ing. –noun a competitive activity involving skill, chance, or endurance on the part of two or more persons who play according to a set of rules, usually for their own amusement or for that of spectators.


    Why is there such a big deal about games? Where I work we are not allowed to play games. That is very well understood. What gets me is they want us to browse other information, well after being on the tech floor for almost 8 months you run out of stuff to browse. So in result i started playing a lil thing called dots, simple click here and play against the AI and get more boxes. Yes under the definition this is a game, what I dont get is that its soo simple and easy but yet we get in trouble for playing. What I understand when no games allowed means no full screen full force online games that take up a lot of space on the computer require certain system requirements, something that has to be downloaded to the pc or require lots of use from the pc itself. Why is something so harmless as in clicking somewhere to make a certain "square" for a point a big deal? Something else I dont get is that one management position says its fine, another no you cant play that. Something needs to be done to come up with a standard that is constanly used for every management position... When this happens I will be happy. Untill then, I guess I just will have to be bored outta my mind and sit here and stare at a blank screen while waiting to do my job.

    "You're Welcome."

    Have you ever wondered why a customer service representative asks you if there is anything else they can help you with? Its an invitation to continue to seek support for what ever it is you need help with. It is not an opportunity to bash the company or its representatives.

    Now on to something more homey. I want to welcome all of the readers (4 or 5 of you) to Schwah! I hope he has good stuff to contribute to your reading pleasure.

    BTW, this month, (Oct 27) is the release of Fallout 3. How this may mean absolutely nothing to many of you, but if you play RPG games, you really need to get this game. I will be writing a review of sorts when I start playing. Probably a running commentary.

    Well, back to the grind.

    My First Totally Off the Wall Blog...

    Well this be my first blog post eva. First i wanna thank rusty for the access privelages. if it wasnt for you none of this would be possible, now to the serious part.

    Why do people think that when they call in they can say "oh I was transferred and it was supposed to be to a sup!" hey moron i can look at your call history for this current call and see this is the first time you called in and when i point out i m showing u just called in you get all pissy and say "oh well ive been transferred about eight times this morning and dont want to tell you whats going on." well guess what, im not going to get you to a sup without knowing whats going on so you go ahead and hang up and try your games with someone else. not going to work with me. and if you dont like it go ahead and complaing to my upper management, they are going to tell you the same thing.

    Why is it that people are so ignorant these days that they try every trick they can think of to get past the one person trying to help them? Its pretty sad anymore with some of the excuses i hear. Funny part is after i talk to them i get the issue resolved and all i feel like saying is HA YOU IGNORANT FOOL NOW WHAT but do i? no because im not going to drop to there level of education. so yes, you go ahead and be pissy and bitchy with me, i dont care, your not going to get a rise out of me on the phone, my job is to help you to the best of my ability, not transfer you to the first available sup because you dont want to wait.

    On a side note, we had an excellent night bowling last night, BIG improvement over the last two weeks, everything went smooth as butter. we totally obliterated the other teams score. best part is the last game our least experiance bowler bowled the high game for that round WAY TO GO!! :D and we are all starting to get into sync with each other and have a good time.

    a good friend once told me he was addicted to video games, at the time i asked myself how is this possible? well i now realise that it is possible and am coming to the realisation that i am to addicted to video games, i find myself at any chance trying to play, when i get bored my first thought is to play video games, this is the only thing that keeps me from being bored. call me what you want but for somereason i am able to sit down and play a game, lose track of time and play for hours on end. My dream job would be to get a job as a video game tester. i dont know why this is but no one else in my family is like this, dont get me wrong i love doing other things i.e. camping, bowling, playing softball, being outdoors, riding my motorcycle EVERYWHERE and many many others but i have the need to play a video game for at least 20 minutes a day. when im at work and bored i look for the non-gamey type games to play, for whatever the reason this is the case. maybe its because im single and not tyed to having to do anything who knows.

    well i know i could go on and on and on about random things but i have taken enough space and its been a totally at random blog, if i get bored maybe i will go on with another, who knows only time will tell,
    untill next time....

    Monday, September 29, 2008

    Yawns, stretches, moans and groans.

    Could someone answer me a question? What business is it of ours to investigate, harass, follow, probe and annoy celebrities? What business is it of ours to care who is sleeping with who? What business is it of ours to pay someone else to make it their business to put on public display someone elses lives?

    Now how many of you would be fighting up a storm with law enforcement if some jackass with a high power camera decided to take pictures of you and your family in candid situations, or hovered around your car as you were trying to get in and out of Wal-Mart or Starbucks, or even at your place of work?

    WE, as a nation, have become so lazy that we have to live vicariously through the lives of people we only know from a flickering screen, people who are paid to act like different people. People who have private lives, and that life should remain private. If you buy tabloids, you are pathetic, you should make the ultimate sacrifice and let someone else breathe the air you consume. So, do the world, and me a favor and run down to your local McD's and gorge your fat guts with triple bacon cheese burgers and your diet cola until the cholestrol oozes out of your pores and makes your skin feel like the greased porkling that you are.

    Friday, September 26, 2008

    Eliminating the middle man.

    The other day I was confronted with a situation I really did not want to be in. I spent the better part of 2 hours listening to how bad things were with a friend, and when I expressed that I was taking a few days off from work because a relative died, it didnt phase them in the least. Then I have to be the 'liason' between another friend and my gf, and the hunters education guy, and all while I am supposed to be taking care of other issues that arrose this week. Frankly, I dont have the willpower to deal with my very own problems, and I get dragged into someone elses problems, its just a tad bit overwhelming. Last night I turned off my phone. I turned it off because I was dealing with an issue with my girlfriend and our bowling league. I have tried very hard to make bowling fun for her, but she gets frustrated with herself, and her desire to not be there grows constantly. So the team captain decides to take it upon himself to tell me that I need to talk to her about this issue. Admittedly that was a good suggestion on his part, so I spent close to 3 hours talking to her about what we could do to improve her game and her fun factor, but 30min past the time that we (team captain, gf and myself) are supposed to be in Hartford for hunters education, he calls me and asks me to contact the instructor to see if we can still make it... um, he had the number, he could have called himself, but he decided that since I was the one that spoke to the guy I should have called. I explained that I was busy with stuff and he should call since I wasnt going to make it. Talk about overwhelming. I turned off my phone.

    Today, I am now at work, on break, and dreading when the calls start coming in. I have so much apathy towards these issues that I have to deal with at work, that I am pretty sure I am going to tell someone where they can put their ideas about how my company should be run. I dont care why you need your internet, your still going to have to wait X number of days.

    We just had a winner!!! Ladies and Gentlemen, I just got told that our service is horrible because I had to transfer a TV only customer to Customer Service. I told her that she dialed the wrong ph# for support and I had to transfer her because I am not trained for tv issues just as they are not trained for internet and phone issues. Here ya go lady, have a free clue.

    Monday, September 22, 2008

    Monopoly: Myth or Fact?

    What is a monopoly? Lets ask the expert:

    Imgragael: Excuse me, Mr. High School Economics Teacher, can you tell me what a monopoly is?

    Mr. H.S.E.T.: That is a good question Imgragael, quite simply there are two types of monopoly, one is where the situation exists where there are no close substitutes: A monopoly is not merely the state of having control over a product; it also means that there is no real alternative to the monopolised product.

    The other type is the integration monopoly, where a company aquires not only all pre-existing companies that produce the same product(s) but control the distribution and manufacture of said product(s).

    Imgragael: How can that affect telecommuncations?

    Mr. H.S.E.T.: Another good question, quite simply it is virtually impossible for a company to aquire or own a monopoly in any market where tv, phone or internet services are offered. Again, for a company to exist as a monopoly, no other forms of competition can exist. In any market such as a major city, you have an infrastructure that already exists, the phone company owns the phone lines, the Tv stations can broadcast over the air, and internet can be provided in several fashions including standard dial-up, Digital Subscriber Line, or Broadband(cable). So, you see, in any market, monopoly cannot exist in the case of telecommunications.

    Anyway, when I listen to callers claim 'monopoly, whine boohoo' I feel no sympathy for their issue, but I feel sorry for them because they are ignorant of facts and probably dont care to learn the truth.

    "If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?"

    Cast of Characters
    Imgragael - Rusty
    Mr. High School Economics Teacher - Rusty

    Information gathered from the following sources:
    wikipedia - definition of monopoly.

    Thursday, September 18, 2008

    mild musings.

    Greetings and salutations from la-la land. I am visiting la-la land because I am on that edge of being awake and asleep, you know, that point when your body gets the tremors, you yawn 2 to 3 times a minute. You might stare blankly at the wall and start to develop that little bit of drool, but your eyes are wide open. Well, let me say this.. the view from here is amazing! but dont ask me what it is I am looking at.

    Here in la-la land, the people are annoying, even in their friendliest tone, but alas I am stuck here until the plane departs at 2pm. problem is I have no idea what I am going to do when I leave. oh well. I guess I will just sit here and be a good leiason between these citizens of la-la land and my home.

    btw, did you know that when a stupid person makes a stupid phone call, a kitten in a foreign land is killed and eaten? neither did I until I akshoelley saw it.

    /me sighs. I am tired.

    Monday, September 15, 2008

    Be Prepared.

    This is the motto of the Boy Scouts.. and guess what, it should be everyones motto. There is truely no excuse to be unprepared for weather conditions such as extremely hot & dry summer, cold and damp winter, hurricanes. These are a regular occurrance and are not going anywhere any time soon. I live in the upper edge of tornado alley, even I dont have an excuse to not be prepared, but I was cautious enough to get a weather radio. so far its probably the best single adverse weather item I have ever spent money on. Now back to those of you living on the Gulf coast. um... its hurricane season. you have DAYS to get the necessary items gathered, packed, stored and stashed, yet you dont. why?

    Get a clue people. High winds, High water, and High blood pressure kill. dont be stupid, if you die, we have to pay more in taxes.

    Wednesday, September 10, 2008

    First Annual "I don't give a shit" day.

    Today marks the first day in the annual "I don't give a shit" day. I declare this day from here on forward to be earmarked where anyone and everyone can clearly and precicely state, I dont give a shit, to anyone or anything that they want. So, please join me in celebrating this joyous occasion, but if you dont, frankly, I dont give a shit.

    So, I get turned down for a promotion at work, because my 'supervisor' thinks that I am too melodramatic and I get upset easily. Honestly if my 'supervisor' would not have used the terms "Don't be a douche,..." or "Whatever, just don't do it." and actually cared about the problems that his underlings bring him, I wouldnt have to get frustrated and throw a 'mini-tantrum' which since I am damn near 7ft tall seems like a mega-hyper-sunami-tantrum. Now, I am working on eligibility to getting a promotion to becoming a Lead, which is 1 step below supervisor, but I have to work on changing my image with my higher ups. Problem with that is, I strive to maintain a level of excellence and esprit d'cour that my higher ups have forgotten about and/or just dont care about, and my attention to detail only causes them to have to do more work. Um, question, isnt that a part of getting promoted to a supervisory position? Having to do more work?!??

    Now, I am honestly working on curbing my tantrums, but the root of those tantrums is this. Why should I start not caring about issues that need to be addressed that bring the name of my company down? Why should I become just another tech on the floor and just not care that x number of people are without service, and field techs just cant seem to get it thru their hardhats that their laziness is causing customers to get pissy and call in 2 - 3 - 4 times a day to get told that they are going to have to wait 2 - 3 - 4 weeks before service is done. And when I present a specific location to where said issue exists, I am threatened with supervisory action (write-up) for using the tools available to find said issue. Oh well, today is "IDGAS"

    Funny part of all of this... We are graded on our calls for having empathy for the problem, but we arent supposed to care about it enough to get it fixed right.

    Wednesday, August 27, 2008

    Motorcycle friendly Des Moines.

    This needs to become a movement. We need more motorcycle awareness programs in Iowa, particuarly in Des Moines. Today I decided to do a few errands and since it was nice enough (stopped raining about 2 hours prior, was cool and overcast.) I decided to ride my DRZ400 to the mall. exactly 14.2 miles from my home. Since I was kinda looking for my lost cell phone along the way I decided to use the bypass to get to the interstate and head north. I was cut off no less than 4 times by vehicles that felt I was going too slowly (75mph) in the fast lane in the first 4 miles of getting on the 5/69 bypass. No big deal, I know that these people have to do something special like poop, but what happened on the interstate almost made me get off my bike and sit on the side of the road and wait for someone to stop. This little girl, 17-21 years old decided that she didnt want to wait for the end of the ramp to get on the highway and cut it close enough to my bike that I had to swerve in front of a semi. There wasnt much room between me and the front of that semi.. the sweet faced little cunt flipped me off when I got along side her. Someone must have seen what happened and called the cops cause a state trooper pulled her over at the I235 cut. but it doesnt end there... leaving the mall some old bastard decided to go wide, cutting me off, causing me to stall my bike, in traffic. then some other retard later down the road decides to split the middle between me and a car and he had the audacity to chase me after I got his plates and gave him the bird. Hope des moines pd gets ahold of him before I see him again.

    Motorcycle Awareness Programs need to be mandatory for ALL drivers.

    Sunday, August 24, 2008

    Imagination v. Reality

    Ladies and Gentleman, Children of all ages!!!

    Welcome to the greatest show on earth.

    In the red corner, Imagination weighing in at an infinite size shape and color of trucks. And in the blue corner, Reality, hard vicious ruthless killer of imaginations everywhere.

    I have to apologize to all 4 of my readers... My last post was mostly of pure fiction. The reality side of the story. The Guy in the Prius was attempting to merge left, the guy in the SUV was in the lane the prius wanted. there was a string of cars in the next lane to the left so the SUV could not move over. The prius ended up braking hard to avoid going over the solid white line into the shoulder, which made me brake hard, and the cars behind me. well, this pri-ck-us whipped around the SUV, pulled along side and started flipping the suv off.. This is where imagination decided to have a turn. I was already laughing by watching some "green" a-hole flip his lid, and the SUV just calmly turn his signal and merged right to take the next exit. But what I saw was the window slowly rolling down and the large fountain drink tumble across the gap and into the prius window. Sadly I attempted to pass off my over active imagination as factual when it was fantasy. Sue me. it was funny though both ways. Just wish the Greener would have gotten what he deserved.

    **pewpewpwe** Fear my 733t pewpew!

    Thursday, August 21, 2008

    Funny...

    Today I saw the funniest thing in the world... well at least in Des Moines. On I-235, a jackass in a silver Prius hybrid decided to catch up to and procede to flip off a SUV for not moving right to let this little turdling in. I almost fell off my bike when I saw the response from the SUV... He calmly decided to throw his McD's supersize cola out his window and into the Prius!!! it was like watching slow motion film. prius freaking out finger wagging, SUV slowly rolled down his window and chucked the drink cup out of his window and into the prius. funny ass shit!

    Thursday, August 14, 2008

    in XX number of days.....

    In two days, I get to go to the first Rennaisance Faire I have been to in 4 years. Its the first time I have been to the Minnisota Rennaisance Faire ever. I have already been invited to see demonstrations from customers that are going to be there. That is awesome.

    In four days, I will have successfully reached my 38th year of existance. Successfully telling my prophesy that I stated when I was nine to fuck off. I am going to be 8 years older than my death year.

    In 22 days, I will have been at my job for one full year. Whoo... 1 year of getting yelled at by assholes who have no life.

    In 36 days, I will have been with my girlfriend Rachel for 1 full year. She is my best friend and I am so happy to be with her. Subsequently 180 days from this date, I can ask her to marry me.

    In XX number of days maybe I will have figured out something important that will save the world from the mass stupidity that has caused it to drive me to writing rants.

    Tuesday, August 12, 2008

    faith in humanity.



    What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach, so you get what we had here last week which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. And I don't like it any more than you men.




    No truer words have ever been spoken, in fiction and in non-fiction. Since I work in a call center where my purpose in life is to help fix problems with peoples service, I have observed several aspects of humanity, and I got to tell you, I dont like it any more.



    You are who you are when no one is looking.




    Everyone lets their belly droop and their jaw go slack when they think no one is looking. How about when they are talking on the phone to some anonymous person? If they yell and scream and act selfish and demeaning while talking to someone they need help from, how do they act in the presence of someone when that someone is standing right there offering them help? Someone superior to them? I firmly believe that regardless of a persons external appearance, their true nature jumps right out and will attack anyone that cannot satisfy the learned reasoning of "I want it NOW!"

    When you call tech support for anything, you have to keep in mind three things..

    1. I am a support technician, I get paid to help you fix your equipment, or schedule a technician to come out and fix what you cannot fix for your self.
    2. I am a specialist in my field, just as much as you are.
    3. I take more abuse from you than you have ever taken from anyone else, I will continue to take abuse because I get paid to do what I enjoy most. Which incidently is helping people.

    Next time you decide to call your support representative because you cannot get online, try to remember something. You wouldnt yell at your butcher and call him and his company nasty names and swear you are going to go somewhere else for business just because the steaks you wanted are no longer on sale would you? Probably not because you know that the next time you went in there you would get slabs of meat not worthy of feeding to a dog.

    Now, to the old lady in the silver car that decided to make a right turn from the left turn lane just to go to McDonalds, I would like to say thanks, your comic relief at the second drive-up window was classic. Just because you grip the steering wheel with both hands and stare straight ahead doesnt make the problem go away. Next time look out for other motorists. Thank god my brakes worked. And I would like to thank the McDonalds crew for delaying the old lady while I ordered my food and was able to leave without fear of her running my ass over.