Friday, October 10, 2008
Moving issues
So i am moving here in the next few days. I am supposed to be moving in with my current roomate of whom i get along with great. the bad thing is his good for nothing worthless g/f, fiance, ugly bumping friend, or whatever they call there off again on again relationship. She gets pissy for no damn reason, bitches at him then he relays the message on to me. Well our internet got turned off, i dont have all the money in the world right now so that bill was not as important to me to pay cause its not a necessity, yes i m gonna go insane without my online gaming but i will get over it. Well the main issue at hand here is that i get a text message from the ass hat saying you have no idea how BOREING it is with no f*k*ng internet or cable. exact words but no censor (for the young readers). so i respond well u cant complain because you havnt ever payed for any of this bill. he comes back well ive offered blah blah blah bitch bitch moan moan, i laughed him off no big deal. What im coming to realise is that i let him and the bitch move into my duplex with there son knowing they did not have a lot of money and cut them a break. Well they ended up buying a house thru the usda and are moving out this weekend. At first they were like its gonna be just us all is good i start looking for my own place. i find its hard as shit to get the money saved up for a security deposit and first months rent because i m paying out my ass already. so i ask and they agree to let me move in with them to get the money saved up. as it gets closer and closer to move day i keep asking myself do i really want to keep putting up with this? So i called my mom on a whim last night saying i needed to speak with her and my dad about moving back home to get bills paid and money saved and vehicles fixed. she said thats fine so now i wait and keep thinking man do i really want to do this. I mean i dont want to put up with an ass hat of a roomate and the bitch but i dont want to not have a personal life... and since they live in the country that means no highspeed internet for my gaming, ima have withdrawals. so i need some advice i wanna save the money but i wanna have a personal life. what should i do? feel free to speak to me in person or leave a message on here saying HEY DUMBASS DONT BE SO R TARDED AND DO THIS!!! my mind is all over the place right now so i do apologize to those of you i snap at, its nothing personal so please dont take it like it is.....so..untill next time...
Caffiene addiction: Day 3
Okay, so, here is an update to my breaking the chains of my addiction... I am in a state where I am cranky, if I take it out on you, dont take it personal. I am also suffering from the yawns. I cant seem to stay awake when I should be wide awake. I am getting plenty of sleep, so this shouldnt be a problem but it is. I hope I can kick this freaking addiction.
On a lighter note. Fire is hot, ice is cold, roses are mostly red, some violets are blue. I know not what I write, but I know what to do. Find a new addiction, one that doesnt hurt. Find a new outlet, vent my frustration on things that no one else cares about. I am sorry..
I am sorry.
On a lighter note. Fire is hot, ice is cold, roses are mostly red, some violets are blue. I know not what I write, but I know what to do. Find a new addiction, one that doesnt hurt. Find a new outlet, vent my frustration on things that no one else cares about. I am sorry..
I am sorry.
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Now on to the funnies!
Okay, now I am famous for calling 911 and reporting dumbass drivers, but the gentleman this morning takes the cake for October!
On my way to work, I stopped by Kum&Go and got a Gatoraid, upon leaving, I waited at a light and a car in opposite lane made a right turn, once the light turned green I made my left turn, just about to the onramp for the highway I take to get to work, I get caught up to this pristine looking 2008 Mustang. This car looked good! Anyway, on the ramp we are not overly close to each other, and once the ramp straightens out, the guy puts the hammer down and takes off away from me. No big deal to me, I start following at a good 5 second lag and soon I am doing 90mph and the guy in the 'stang is comfortably ahead of me. Soon we approach the interchange and dingdong decides to brake hard then get behind me. 'Piss on it' I think and I keep going. Just before my exit, a fast moving car gets in behind me and then pops the bubblegums and I get pulled over. During my short chat with one of Iowas best (no insult, this officer was very professional and completely understanding) we determine that someone had reported me for excessive speed. No sweat, I have done that many times myself. But whats interesting is I ask if the guy that reported me told the 911 dispatch that he too was going in excess of 90mph, the officer then gets the ph# for dipshit and calls him, and he admits that he was speeding and wanted to report me for tailgating, officer already knew that I was giving a good 5-7 second lead on the first car and the way I explained it, was I was only going as fast as the guy in front of me. I was still wrong and I fully expected to get in trouble for my actions, but the officer decided that if he punished me, he would have to find the guy and punish him as well. All said and done, I was only 10 minutes delayed from work and got released by the officer with a verbal warning.
My lesson from all of this, if a douche bag wants to go fast, let him. If he wants to report you for going fast, let him. But dont be an offender then expect someone to get in trouble for what your doing wrong too.
"Do you have unsightly nose hair? Big bushy dust catching nose hair? You need hair-b-gone! *caution, use of hair-b-gone may cause excessive hair loss in the genital area, sudden death syndrome, and/or nausea. If you experience any of these symptoms, call a doctor immediately."
Now on to the funnies!
Okay, now I am famous for calling 911 and reporting dumbass drivers, but the gentleman this morning takes the cake for October!
On my way to work, I stopped by Kum&Go and got a Gatoraid, upon leaving, I waited at a light and a car in opposite lane made a right turn, once the light turned green I made my left turn, just about to the onramp for the highway I take to get to work, I get caught up to this pristine looking 2008 Mustang. This car looked good! Anyway, on the ramp we are not overly close to each other, and once the ramp straightens out, the guy puts the hammer down and takes off away from me. No big deal to me, I start following at a good 5 second lag and soon I am doing 90mph and the guy in the 'stang is comfortably ahead of me. Soon we approach the interchange and dingdong decides to brake hard then get behind me. 'Piss on it' I think and I keep going. Just before my exit, a fast moving car gets in behind me and then pops the bubblegums and I get pulled over. During my short chat with one of Iowas best (no insult, this officer was very professional and completely understanding) we determine that someone had reported me for excessive speed. No sweat, I have done that many times myself. But whats interesting is I ask if the guy that reported me told the 911 dispatch that he too was going in excess of 90mph, the officer then gets the ph# for dipshit and calls him, and he admits that he was speeding and wanted to report me for tailgating, officer already knew that I was giving a good 5-7 second lead on the first car and the way I explained it, was I was only going as fast as the guy in front of me. I was still wrong and I fully expected to get in trouble for my actions, but the officer decided that if he punished me, he would have to find the guy and punish him as well. All said and done, I was only 10 minutes delayed from work and got released by the officer with a verbal warning.
My lesson from all of this, if a douche bag wants to go fast, let him. If he wants to report you for going fast, let him. But dont be an offender then expect someone to get in trouble for what your doing wrong too.
"Do you have unsightly nose hair? Big bushy dust catching nose hair? You need hair-b-gone! *caution, use of hair-b-gone may cause excessive hair loss in the genital area, sudden death syndrome, and/or nausea. If you experience any of these symptoms, call a doctor immediately."
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Mohavista: Technology Review
This is my first techie review, and I am medicated on Vicodin. If you dont like it, here is some bricks, morter and some scaffolding. Build a bridge and get over it.
Ever wonder why your brand new Microsoft Vista PC from Wal-mart is so freaking slow? Or why your new laptop doesnt seem to perform the way it was advertised? Let me see if I can answer these strange mystical technological anomalies for you.
1. My computer is slow my old Windows 95 wasnt this slow, why? Your cheap ass bought a PC from walmart and got an increadible savings of $400 for your new system. Here is what your cheap, tightwad ass got for you, a life time of headaches and instant hatred for your computer and windows vista. Here is why, Vista is an operating system that requires alot of resources, resources that your POS pc doesnt have, like RAM (random access memory) the space where all your applications go when you open them, CPU (Central Processing Unit) the brains of your PC, this is the number cruncher part of your pc, hard drive, the storage location that saves all your files.
If these things do not meet, or just barely exceed the recommended minimum requirements of Vista, your computer will run like crap thru a constipated monkey. Its gonna piss you off, and your gonna call everyone from your best friend to your internet provider and complain about it. Guess what tightass, its your own freaking fault. Next time talk to a consultant and help them get an idea of what you need for a PC and they will recommend what works best for you. Sure you might spend $1000 for a new computer, but if you follow this simple rule you get further in life.
Rule #1. For every $100-200 you spend on a desktop system, monitor not included, you can expect 1 year of service life for the computer. Spend $1000 and you can expect your pc to last for at least 5-7 years.
Rule #2. For every $200-400 you spend on a laptop system, you can expect 1 year of service life for the laptop. Spend the same $1000 and you can expect the laptop to last 3-5 years.
Next thing you need to do once you get your new PC home is call the freaking manufacturer, talk to technical support, and have them step by step remove the craptacular 'trial' software they installed on your computer, that is a good 50% of all problems with store bought pc's. Then after all that is said and done, learning how to do your own basic maintanence like clearing the browser history, scanning for malware and getting rid of programs you dont need will do absolute wonders for your "I am NOT going to spend a lot of money on a glorified calculator" computer system.
So, lets recap.
Minimum Requirements for Windows Vista Home Premium Edition:
Certain product features are not available with minimum supported requirements
800 MHz processor and 512 MB of system memory.
20 GB hard drive with at least 15 GB of available space.
Support for Super VGA graphics.
CD-ROM drive.
Most inexpensive computer system from a retailer.
1.5GHz VIA C7-D processor - This high-performing processor works at maximum efficiency to increase your productivity.
512MB DDR2 memory - Allows you to use several applications without a decrease in performance
80GB Hard Drive - Store all your important documents and files on this large hard drive
DVD-ROM/CD-RW Combo Drive - Burn CDs and watch your favorite DVDs on this versatile drive
Compare the red listed item above. If Vista requires 512 MHB of ram, and the computer only has 512 MB of ram, how do you expect it to perform when trying to run an application like say, World of Warcraft which also requires as a minimum 512 MB or more of RAM? Can you comprehend trying to run 1024 gallons of water thru a garden hose? how long do you think it will take to process all 1024 gallons of water?
Next time you start to bitch about your PC being slow, grab the recipt and blame the person who paid for it.
Ever wonder why your brand new Microsoft Vista PC from Wal-mart is so freaking slow? Or why your new laptop doesnt seem to perform the way it was advertised? Let me see if I can answer these strange mystical technological anomalies for you.
1. My computer is slow my old Windows 95 wasnt this slow, why? Your cheap ass bought a PC from walmart and got an increadible savings of $400 for your new system. Here is what your cheap, tightwad ass got for you, a life time of headaches and instant hatred for your computer and windows vista. Here is why, Vista is an operating system that requires alot of resources, resources that your POS pc doesnt have, like RAM (random access memory) the space where all your applications go when you open them, CPU (Central Processing Unit) the brains of your PC, this is the number cruncher part of your pc, hard drive, the storage location that saves all your files.
If these things do not meet, or just barely exceed the recommended minimum requirements of Vista, your computer will run like crap thru a constipated monkey. Its gonna piss you off, and your gonna call everyone from your best friend to your internet provider and complain about it. Guess what tightass, its your own freaking fault. Next time talk to a consultant and help them get an idea of what you need for a PC and they will recommend what works best for you. Sure you might spend $1000 for a new computer, but if you follow this simple rule you get further in life.
Rule #1. For every $100-200 you spend on a desktop system, monitor not included, you can expect 1 year of service life for the computer. Spend $1000 and you can expect your pc to last for at least 5-7 years.
Rule #2. For every $200-400 you spend on a laptop system, you can expect 1 year of service life for the laptop. Spend the same $1000 and you can expect the laptop to last 3-5 years.
Next thing you need to do once you get your new PC home is call the freaking manufacturer, talk to technical support, and have them step by step remove the craptacular 'trial' software they installed on your computer, that is a good 50% of all problems with store bought pc's. Then after all that is said and done, learning how to do your own basic maintanence like clearing the browser history, scanning for malware and getting rid of programs you dont need will do absolute wonders for your "I am NOT going to spend a lot of money on a glorified calculator" computer system.
So, lets recap.
Minimum Requirements for Windows Vista Home Premium Edition:
Certain product features are not available with minimum supported requirements
Most inexpensive computer system from a retailer.
Compare the red listed item above. If Vista requires 512 MHB of ram, and the computer only has 512 MB of ram, how do you expect it to perform when trying to run an application like say, World of Warcraft which also requires as a minimum 512 MB or more of RAM? Can you comprehend trying to run 1024 gallons of water thru a garden hose? how long do you think it will take to process all 1024 gallons of water?
Next time you start to bitch about your PC being slow, grab the recipt and blame the person who paid for it.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Addictions: The price we pay..
Is it possible to be addicted to sleep? Maybe I just dont get enough, who knows. What I do know is that my addiction to the wonderful carbonated-caffienated-fizzy-bubbly-tickle-you-nose elixer that many call soda and just as many others call it pop is trying to kill me. You see, I decided to quit drinking that killer of kidneys, the baron of burps, the facilitator of flatulence, my beloved cola. Its going well so far, only have a mild headache, which I am pretty sure will reach full blown crankiness in a couple hours. Just please, stand back and let the shakes begin.
Also, on a lighter note. It is day 330 of my captivity here in the IT jungle. For many of you this is just a short time being held captive by my wallet and basic needs. I gotta tell you, I really am tired of getting yelled at, threatened, whined to, bitched at, and best of all, being told its not my fault, yet they still yell at me because their computer is borked. Of course its not my fault your pc is trash because you let your kid download crap from myspace, and if you recognize this, why are you yelling at your internet provider and not your pc repair guy? But on the light side of my captivity, I have become pretty good at what I do, and its being noticed by the head chief high muckety-mucks.
God I need a Mt. Dew... my body is rejecting me. need caffiene... **drools**
Well, this is unexpected. one of the guys decided to run off and buy me a dew! but I am going to do my best to drink only this one today. We'll see how that goes.
Dammit... I havent even opened it and my body is feeling like suckling the cap like a newborn to a teet. Damn, I am addicted.
Also, on a lighter note. It is day 330 of my captivity here in the IT jungle. For many of you this is just a short time being held captive by my wallet and basic needs. I gotta tell you, I really am tired of getting yelled at, threatened, whined to, bitched at, and best of all, being told its not my fault, yet they still yell at me because their computer is borked. Of course its not my fault your pc is trash because you let your kid download crap from myspace, and if you recognize this, why are you yelling at your internet provider and not your pc repair guy? But on the light side of my captivity, I have become pretty good at what I do, and its being noticed by the head chief high muckety-mucks.
God I need a Mt. Dew... my body is rejecting me. need caffiene... **drools**
Well, this is unexpected. one of the guys decided to run off and buy me a dew! but I am going to do my best to drink only this one today. We'll see how that goes.
Dammit... I havent even opened it and my body is feeling like suckling the cap like a newborn to a teet. Damn, I am addicted.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Monday: Good or bad, you decide.
Its Monday morning, and I am at work. I am having probably one of the hardest times trying to stay awake. Infact I have drank over 1 ltr of Mt Dew since 4:30am and its 9:20a now. Ever have an epiphany? I think I just did... i am addicted to pop. Now I need to work on kicking my evil chain to that sweet substance. I wouldnt mind help, a good support system is a good place to start.
To start, I am going to try for the next week to only drink 1 bottle (20oz) per day and the rest of the day only water or flavored water. The following week, only 1 (20oz) per week. then no more pop. Hardest part of this is kicking the caffiene addiction that is associated with the pop and sugar.
I am so freaking tired... Is it because of the addiction.
So, yesterday I posted a comment about the loss of common sense, this is especially a problem for those that use/abuse alcohol. People really need to think before they perform any action. Think before you speak, isnt that one common phrase?
Oh God. I am rambling. please help me!
To start, I am going to try for the next week to only drink 1 bottle (20oz) per day and the rest of the day only water or flavored water. The following week, only 1 (20oz) per week. then no more pop. Hardest part of this is kicking the caffiene addiction that is associated with the pop and sugar.
I am so freaking tired... Is it because of the addiction.
So, yesterday I posted a comment about the loss of common sense, this is especially a problem for those that use/abuse alcohol. People really need to think before they perform any action. Think before you speak, isnt that one common phrase?
Oh God. I am rambling. please help me!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Comedy or Tragedy? You decide.
So, last night Rachel, Schwah, Myself and 3 other friends worth mentioning, but wont say names to protect the not-so-innocent decided to go to the Funny Bone to see The Untamed Shrews. Now if you havent heard of the Shrews, let me give you some insight, they are 2 women who spend the night being as vulgar as men at the bar talking about everything from buttplugs to vagina's. This show is definatly not for the faint of heart. So, at one point in the routine the gals had us in stitches and they start their next skit, the dating game. They picked three guys out of the audience mostly randomly I think, and asked each of them a question. Question 1. What would you name your penis if you could give it a name? Guy #1's answer: Billy Bob. An Angelina Jolie joke was popped up and a few other redneck type slams where thrown. All proceding nicely with a good laugh. Question #2. If you penis was a car, what kind of car would it be? Guy #2: What day of the week is it? This answer prompted a few jokes about Transformers and such, then one random guy in the audience blurted out "Dodge Ram", of course the gals decided to run with this one and ask how Guy A knew about Guy #2's dick. So they get back on track after turning this jackass inside out and Guy #2 said 4x4 Ford F150. Then some moron on the other side of the seating area yelled out and I quote "It has to be 4x4, cause its gonna get muddy!" Personally, after watching and listening to two very quick witted women shred the last vestige of a mans manlyness about knowing about another mans dick, I would not have made any kind of comment that would refer to penis, gaydom, and getting it 'muddy'. That made me sad to know that there are complete morons running around Iowa tarnishing our reputation for being good in school. Lastly, and this too is sad, what kind of moron would compare his dick to cheese?
Anyway, the moral of this story, if there really is one is this. At a comedy club, you can generally expect some kind of audience participation, but ladies and gentlemen, do us all a favor, think about your answer when asked questions about your private parts.
Until next time, this is Rusty Pickle from Comedy or Tragedy wishing you a good evening, and please dont forget to spay or neuter your children before they grow up to spread your stupidity in the gene pool. Have a good night.
Anyway, the moral of this story, if there really is one is this. At a comedy club, you can generally expect some kind of audience participation, but ladies and gentlemen, do us all a favor, think about your answer when asked questions about your private parts.
Until next time, this is Rusty Pickle from Comedy or Tragedy wishing you a good evening, and please dont forget to spay or neuter your children before they grow up to spread your stupidity in the gene pool. Have a good night.
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