People that think about things they shouldn't think about.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Mohavista: Technology Review

This is my first techie review, and I am medicated on Vicodin. If you dont like it, here is some bricks, morter and some scaffolding. Build a bridge and get over it.

Ever wonder why your brand new Microsoft Vista PC from Wal-mart is so freaking slow? Or why your new laptop doesnt seem to perform the way it was advertised? Let me see if I can answer these strange mystical technological anomalies for you.

1. My computer is slow my old Windows 95 wasnt this slow, why? Your cheap ass bought a PC from walmart and got an increadible savings of $400 for your new system. Here is what your cheap, tightwad ass got for you, a life time of headaches and instant hatred for your computer and windows vista. Here is why, Vista is an operating system that requires alot of resources, resources that your POS pc doesnt have, like RAM (random access memory) the space where all your applications go when you open them, CPU (Central Processing Unit) the brains of your PC, this is the number cruncher part of your pc, hard drive, the storage location that saves all your files.

If these things do not meet, or just barely exceed the recommended minimum requirements of Vista, your computer will run like crap thru a constipated monkey. Its gonna piss you off, and your gonna call everyone from your best friend to your internet provider and complain about it. Guess what tightass, its your own freaking fault. Next time talk to a consultant and help them get an idea of what you need for a PC and they will recommend what works best for you. Sure you might spend $1000 for a new computer, but if you follow this simple rule you get further in life.

Rule #1. For every $100-200 you spend on a desktop system, monitor not included, you can expect 1 year of service life for the computer. Spend $1000 and you can expect your pc to last for at least 5-7 years.
Rule #2. For every $200-400 you spend on a laptop system, you can expect 1 year of service life for the laptop. Spend the same $1000 and you can expect the laptop to last 3-5 years.

Next thing you need to do once you get your new PC home is call the freaking manufacturer, talk to technical support, and have them step by step remove the craptacular 'trial' software they installed on your computer, that is a good 50% of all problems with store bought pc's. Then after all that is said and done, learning how to do your own basic maintanence like clearing the browser history, scanning for malware and getting rid of programs you dont need will do absolute wonders for your "I am NOT going to spend a lot of money on a glorified calculator" computer system.

So, lets recap.

Minimum Requirements for Windows Vista Home Premium Edition:
Certain product features are not available with minimum supported requirements
  • 800 MHz processor and 512 MB of system memory.

  • 20 GB hard drive with at least 15 GB of available space.

  • Support for Super VGA graphics.

  • CD-ROM drive.


  • Most inexpensive computer system from a retailer.
  • 1.5GHz VIA C7-D processor - This high-performing processor works at maximum efficiency to increase your productivity.

  • 512MB DDR2 memory - Allows you to use several applications without a decrease in performance

  • 80GB Hard Drive - Store all your important documents and files on this large hard drive

  • DVD-ROM/CD-RW Combo Drive - Burn CDs and watch your favorite DVDs on this versatile drive


  • Compare the red listed item above. If Vista requires 512 MHB of ram, and the computer only has 512 MB of ram, how do you expect it to perform when trying to run an application like say, World of Warcraft which also requires as a minimum 512 MB or more of RAM? Can you comprehend trying to run 1024 gallons of water thru a garden hose? how long do you think it will take to process all 1024 gallons of water?

    Next time you start to bitch about your PC being slow, grab the recipt and blame the person who paid for it.

    1 comment:

    Unknown said...

    thanks for taking my rant and getting more technical with it. I wasnt about to get into detail because if they were reading it and fit the bill, they wouldnt understand what I meant. For those that would you covered all the details perfectly. Thanks.